Better luck next time

While perusing The Onion this morning (America's Finest News Source), I disappointingly noted this latest bit on the long-ranging intergalatic conflict with our intra-solar system neighbors.

Earth Passed Over For Invasion

April 5, 2006 Issue 42•14 BETA QUADRANT, ZGYXA—Nearly 200,000 hostile aliens from the planet Zgyxa skipped invading Earth Monday, saying it "does not seem worth the effort." "A planet scan indicates that its resources will be tapped by 2015, its most intelligent life form cannot fly, and it possesses no significant deposits of Tangium," said Supreme Commander Kasha Ak-Bej, the nine-foot serpentine leader of the invasion. "Not to mention that their fleshy exoskeleton would make earthlings unfit slaves for mining Zgyxa's molten core." Representatives from the Council of Earth expressed their disappointment.

Contrary to recent cinematic suggestions (i.e. Signs) - the best way to defend against alien attack is not to hide in your basement and wait for them to go about their way. Most aliens don't fly 142 light years to our planet to engage in fisticuffs.

Oh well. Now I'll guess I'll have to put the shotgun back up on the mantle and the pitchfork back into the tool shed.